#the connections I’ve had with trans people

[transexualizeyourself]

“t4t sex” this “t4t sex” that have y’all ever heard of t4t love? Meeting another trans person who has at both times extremely different experiences but also exactly the same experiences to you. Taking your hrt together or giving each other gender euphoria tips. Teaching her how to care for her curly hair while she gives you an old pair of her boxers to try on. Complaining about your transphobic families and gushing about the people in your lives who were your trans awakenings. Getting a recording of their voice when you know they love it in that moment because in the morning it won’t sound like that anymore and you have to save it. Just fucking. Being trans and being connected because of that and loving each other because of that

[freakincagedotcom2]

HELP BLACK AFRICAN AUTISTIC TRANS MAN ESCAPE FINANCIAL ABUSE AND RUIN AMD AVOID POLICE INTERACTIONS - URGENT 🚨 DUE 15 NOV - CURRENTLY OVERDUE

Goal is $1100

Hello, everyone. I am weeping as I type this.

I am so distraught.

I have received an email from a former friend and roommate asking me to pay for a cracked laptop screen that I am not responsible for. The laptop screen was cracked following an incident where their parents with the help of the police broke into our home as they had gone no contact with them and their parents are people who have a lot of connections within the police department. This allowed them to abuse their power and to destroy the life we had built.

I then became to blame for their parents behaviour following this incident.

I am asking for help to pay for this as I am unable to afford this at this point. I have just been able to start supporting myself ( while still needing help with groceries) and I am unable to pay this bill without risking homelessness.

I am heartbroken to have received this message as I ended this friendship when I became the person to blame for their parents behaviour. I had even attempted to raise funds for their legal fees at that point.

Please help me pay this bill of $1100 as I barely make more than half of this a month and will never be able to cover the cost of this before they involve their parents which is in two months (December) and I am trying to avoid an escalation that would involve police or legalities as that would devastate my life.

This former friend is classed enough to afford the payment for this screen but they choose to do this to me. I understand the affects of abuse and that they may not be in control of the situation but I cannot not understand why I’m being treated this way.

I really need to avoid an escalation.

Goal is $1100 – to be filled urgently.

Currently at $160 at 696 notes😭😭 anything helps. This payment is due in one week and I’ve been trying to revise these funds for over a month only to still be at $160 out of $1100

I’ve been trying to fill this goals for almost two months and it’s due urgently

I have even abandoned my grocery fund to try to fill this goal first.

PAYPAL

Please see below the email I received from them.

PAYPAL: @leavemynameoutofit

I am scared, devastated and shocked.

Please help how you can - I cannot relive the stress of the past year.

[vaspider]

Hi! I’m in my early 20’s and a baby gay and i was wondering if you could help me understand the nuances of a particular issue (or point me towards recourses to find some answers). I’ve heard that as an afab enby i shouldn’t be using the f slur because historically it has been used to attack/demean gay men, but i’ve also seen (mostly on tumblr) a push by the queer community to reclaim the word by any queer identity. I want to be inclusive and intersectional and not insult people to the best of my ability so my question is: can i participate in the reclamation of the f slur or should i leave this word to queer men? (I’m also not clear on wether it’s just cis men, includes trans men/amab folks, etc). You don’t have to answer but thanks for your time regardless!

You can do whatever you want forever.

Seriously, though - whoever is telling you that you can't reclaim a particular slur because that doesn't get used against people like you should come review my history sometime. I've had faggot yelled at me (often out of moving cars or in connection with physical abuse) more times than I can count. They need to talk to Hannah Gadsby, who talks in Nanette about a man who pushed her, thinking she was a faggot and then found out she was a woman, realized she was a "lady faggot" and thus outside his definition of woman and able to be beaten up... so he did.

That kind of "I have decided that people like you haven't been hurt by this so you can't touch this word" cop nonsense is genuinely harmful. We need to bring back the 90s energy of "it takes all of us to take the sting out of a word" where gay men showed up to lesbian marches with "fags for dykes" signs.

This infighting over terms is fucking cop garbage meant to divide us. It's bullshit. If you find strength in calling yourself a fag, a dykefag, a fagdyke, a ladyfag, a girl homo, a lesbo, whatever the fuck, it doesn't fucking matter.

This "no one uses that against people like you" bullshit is just that. Ignore it freely, because it's utter nonsense on many many levels.

[separatetheyolk]

Like Real People Do | Lewis Hamilton X Male!Reader

ʚɞ Featuring: Lewis Hamilton

ʚɞ absolutely no one asked for this but I give you Lewis Hamilton aftercare

ʚɞ warnings: 18+, mentions of smut but nothing overly explicit mainly just in passing

ʚɞ note: this is a long one. I’ve got a one for Charles finished (though I’m not sure if I like it so may scrap and restart) and Carlos in the works. As with all my male!reader posts this can be read as trans!reader too. Trans masc too but there is he/him, boy and boyfriend used to refer to the reader in this. I’ve read this like ten times but there may still be some mistakes and shit so sorry in advance

ʚɞ wordcount: 3.6k

ʚɞ requests are open!

You trembled on the bed, curled up on your side ever so slightly, twitching and jerking every so often as you came down from your fifth high that night, your brain turned practically to mush, gripping to the pillow set under your head.

You let out a weak cry as Lewis ran his thumb over your abused nipple. Causing the man to pause. Pulling himself away from the session for a moment he checked you over. Studying your body. You looked spent. Utterly spent. Chest heaving for air, tear tracks down your cheeks. Face flushed red and that neck.. that poor, abused neck. “Colour, baby.” He asked softly, moving his hand down from your chest to your hip. Rubbing small circles on the bone in a comforting manner.

You couldn’t form words, your brain couldn’t make the connection to your tongue to work. To your mouth for your lips to move. Instead, you let out a whine. High pitched and exhausted, shaking your head quickly. Lewis took that as you wanted to end the session, nodding softly.

You felt the bed shift beside you, opening your eyes for your gaze to meet your boyfriends. Instinctively you moved to him the best you could with weak legs and trembling arms. Lewis helping you the rest of the way. “You done so well, baby..” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. The praise caused you to melt slightly. Letting out a small noise of adoration. “You done so good for me.. so proud of you..”

“I love you so much.. took it all so well..” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head again. You didn’t know how long you spent like that. Your concept of time blurred. But eventually Lewis started to pull away. All too soon in your opinion.

You let out a whimper, moving to grab ahold of him a little more. Hearing a deep chuckle from the man. “Oh I know..” he whispered. “I know you want cuddles. But I gotta get you cleaned up, sugar.” He slipped from the bed, crouching down on the floor beside it so he could see your face again. Taking in every small imperfection on it. Drinking you up like he couldn’t get enough. Like he hadn’t just fucked you for two hours. “Could you be a good boy? Wait here for me?” He asked, tucking some hair behind your ear. “Hmm?”

You could be a good boy.. you wanted to be a good boy. You craved the praise that came with it. Craved that love and affection. Nodding quickly, you watched as Lewis smiled. Pressing a kiss to your temple as he stood. “There’s my boy. You just stay here.. I’ll take care of you..”

You watched as Lewis left the room to the ensuite. Stomach sinking slightly but you done as instructed and stayed put. Grabbing the blankets and pulling them to your shoulders. Not caring that they were dirty. And judging by the water running, you had a feeling it didn’t matter regardless.

Lewis ran his hand under the tap, making sure the water to the bath was warming up. Realistically, he knew it wasn’t the cleanest option. But he had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to stand long enough for a shower. And he wouldn’t be able to carry and wash you at the same time. So a shared bath it was. At this point, he had aftercare on lock. Lighting a few candles he knew you liked, adding some muscle relaxer into the water along with some bubble bath and a lavender bath bomb. Once the tub had filled, he made his way back to you. Stopping at the doorway and lent against the wood, just taking in the sight of you.

Taking in the sight of you curled up on the, admittedly, ridiculously large bed. One leg poked out from under the duvet, hugging one of Lewis’ pillows, face pressed into your own, hair ruffled and messed up. Swallowed by sheets. He almost didn’t want to move you, but he wasn’t exactly keen on sleeping in those sheets tonight.

So, reluctantly, he moved to the bed, hand coming to rest on your upper arm and began to stroke up and down it gently. His hand was rough against your skin. Something you’d always loved. “Baby?” His voice came out almost as a whisper, smiling wide when you opened your eyes. Your own face up lit when you’d realised he was back. “Hey.. hey, sugar. Ready for your bath?”

You nodded slowly, arms held out to the man. And Lewis didn’t need to be told twice. He picked you up with a groan, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you to the bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the tub he double checked the temperature of the water. Pouring some onto your thigh. “How’s that, baby?” He asked, feeling you nod against his shoulder.

He then carefully lowered you into the tub, mindful of your bruised ass. You let out a small whine as it hit the bottom, Lewis whispering quiet “I know..” to you. Once you were situated, he lowered himself into the bath behind you. Leaning back and whispered a quiet “C’mere baby..” allowing you to lean into his chest, rubbing up and down your sides gently. He didn’t immediately move to wash you. Instead he let the two of you soak in the water first. Pressing kisses to your shoulder and the darkening hickeys on your neck and behind your ear like they’d sooth them some. All while keeping his hand moving up and down against your skin. “I got you..” he whispered, rubbing your side gently. “Right here baby..”

You whined quietly, trying to spin round to face him. Beginning to grow upset that you couldn’t. Past that point of exhaustion and now to where any minor inconvenience was enough to upset you. Lewis smiled softly, tucking your legs into your chest and carefully spun you round, letting you go wherever you wanted which you decided would be to straddle his lap, arms wrapped around him. Legs tight around Lewis’ waist. Face pressed to his neck.

Lewis wrapped his arms gently around your waist, loose but enough to let you know he wasn’t leaving. He slid down in the water a little more. Still making sure your head was above it but more of the warmth wrapped your body. The lavender bath bomb began to have its desired effect after about half an hour, drowsy and oh so tired. Just ready to curl up into Lewis’ side wrapped in warm blankets and comfy clothes.

You let out a whine of “Lew..” when he sat up again. The man looking down to you with a smile. “Well, welcome back baby..” he kept one arm wrapped around you a little tighter, the other squeezing body wash onto a loofa that was floating around in the water. “You’re okay.. I got you..” he reassured.

He felt you remove your head from his shoulder, looking around the room to grasp your surroundings. You had a vague idea of what had happened during the time Lewis had been taking care of you. More veiled behind fog than anything. Like the moment Lewis lay down your brain switched off in a completely different way. “You just relax, baby.. just gonna wash you then you can curl up in bed again.” Lewis spoke, keeping his eyes fixed to you. Studying you, making sure your mood wasn’t about to plummet. “Okay? You doing okay?”

You looked to the man for a moment like he was speaking in tongues. Either way, you’d have let him. Whether you understood his self appointed mission or not. You’d trust this man with your life.. this didn’t work without trust. Sex, aftercare, your relationship as a whole. You nodded slowly once you’d managed to grasp what had been said, nuzzling back into his neck.

Lewis wasn’t sure whether that nod was in response to him washing you, if you were feeling okay, or both. Sighing softly. “Darling, can I?” He asked, removing your face from his neck and held the loofa in view. Again, another nod.

He’d started with your back first, then your sides, chest, legs, then used a separate cloth for your armpits and afterwards he rinsed you down. Humming softly as he done so, hand rubbing circles onto the small of your back. He then began to wash himself. Lewis then made quick work of getting out and drying himself, turning back to the bath when finished towel wrapped around his waist. Eh.. you could stay in there while he changed the bedding.

He slipped on some clean boxers and comfy joggers before he got to work. Stripping any and all bedding, throwing it into the corner of the room, rummaging through drawers to find a particular set he knew you liked. Extremely soft to the touch and likely the better choice for not only your bruised arse, but his clawed up back. Finding it with a little bit of trouble. He threw on the fitted sheet, changed the pillow cases, stripped the duvet of its cover and replaced it with the clean one. Picked up any used or unopened condoms, threw them in the bin, set the lube away in his middle drawer and decided that would do for the night. He could do a deeper clean in the morning if you weren’t as dependant on him then.

He rushed downstairs before getting you out the bath, grabbing a protein bar from the cupboard for himself, favourite snack for you, and two bottles of water from the fridge. Setting them down on his bedside table for the time being.

Last but not least, he moved back to the bathroom with some clean underwear, fresh towel and a few of his own shirts in hand. Hanging them up on the hook on the door, Lewis then moved over to pull the plug for the bath, stealing a kiss as he stood back up. He cleared a section of the counter then carefully picked you up from the bath. Not caring about water dripping onto his joggers. He set you onto the cool marble, dried you off and let you pick out which shirt. Then helped you get changed into it along with the clean boxers. “Handsome man..” Lewis murmured when done, kissing your temple before picking you up for the last time tonight.

He carried you back through to the bedroom after letting you blow out the candles, pulled your side of the blankets back with one hand and then propped up your pillows slightly. Setting you down onto the mattress and tucked you in. You watched as Lewis moved to his own side of the bed, slipping between the sheets and wrapped an arm around you. Grabbing one of the bottles of water. “Come here, baby.” He muttered, holding the plastic to your lips. “Drink some of this for me.. there we go.” He smiled softly as you tipped your head back. Lewis tipping the bottle to follow your lead. Making sure not to drown you or waterboard you. That would be far from ideal. Once about half the water was gone, you shook your head, wrapping arms around Lewis and set your head on his chest. With a smile, Lewis shuffled further down into bed, holding you to his side.

Food and your little chat could wait until morning too..

The next morning or well afternoon when you woke up, your entire body was stiff. Whining quietly from the slight pain as you stretched. You turned to the door when you heard shuffling making it’s way up the stairs only now realising the lack of Lewis’ presence beside you. Smiling when the man came round the corner and into the room holding a tray. Seemed to have some form of food and a glass of orange juice on it.

“Hey..” He spoke softly, spotting you half awake. Lewis set the food to the end of the bed for the time being, slipping back to his side of the bed again. “Was gonna come wake you up..”

“Wha’ times it?” You mumbled closely followed by a yawn, rubbing your eyes. “M’ sleepy still..”

“Well that’s probably because you overslept gorgeous..” Lewis replied, turning round to his bedside table briefly to grab his phone. “It’s..” he glanced up briefly as Roscoe made his way into the bedroom, clearly not happy that he hadn’t had access to it at all the night before. He then turned back to his phone, pressing the power button. “Half two.”

“Damn..” you’d slept that long? You weren’t entirely sure what time you’d ended up actually going to bed last night but it couldn’t have been any later than three in the morning. You’d slept eleven hours? “What time did you get up?”

“Around twelve.. had some zoom meetings at one. Something about the car next season I can’t really remember.” Lewis shook his head, leaning forward to grab the tray. “Come on, sit up and get this down you.” He rose the tray ever so slightly.

Reluctantly you done just that. Torso leaving the warmth of the blankets, groaning as you pushed yourself up and whining when your ass bore the weight. “What is it? What’s wrong?” Lewis asked almost immediately, concern rising in his throat.

“M’ just a little stiff n’ my ass is sore..” you told him, shaking your head. “Just the norm..”

Lewis frowned at that, nodding slowly and carefully set the tray on your lap. Not a whole lot of food but just the right amount that you’d eat after just waking up. “You start eating, I’ll grab some painkillers for you.” Lewis spoke softly.

You watched the man turn to head to the ensuite, pausing when you spotted the state you’d left his back in. Usually? You found it hot. Something you both liked.. but this looked like he’d gotten into a fight with a tiger and came out the other end mauled. “Your back..” you practically whimpered. Lewis immediately turned back around, wanting to kick himself for not even thinking about that.

“Nono- no hey..” he rushed back over, moving to sit beside you. “I can’t even feel it, baby.. forgot they were even there.” He quickly took your hands, shaking his head. “No- hey don’t cry..” he squeezed them gently, giving you a reassuring smile. “If it hurt i would have said for you to stop..” he heard something along the lines of “but they’ve been bleeding..” causing him to sigh softly.

“They did, yes. But really not that much..” he watched your face, studying how it dropped, kept your eyes fixed to the food in your lap but that interest in eating no longer there. “Hey.. how about this..” you looked up to him ever so slightly, the man peaking your interest. “You eat your food, have a some painkillers and if you really want to, you can give them a clean.”

You thought about it for a moment, turning your eyes back to the food. “I..” You sighed softly, knowing for a fact he wouldn’t take any other compromise. You loved Lewis.. but sometimes that habit of not putting himself first annoyed you to no end. “Okay..”

With a smile, Lewis stood again. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head before turning to head to the bathroom once again. Coming back with two ibuprofen both snapped in half. “Hand out baby.” He spoke, sitting down on the bed beside you and dropped them into your palm when you’d done as instructed. Throwing them into your mouth and quickly swallowing them down with the juice. Shuddering once you’d managed to successfully get them down.

“That’s it.. you finish eating I’ll clean up a little.” Lewis spoke, soft smile on his face. He grabbed a shirt from the wardrobe to not upset you any further. Just an old one, print practically gone the only remnants being a shiny patch on the cotton fabric where it used to be. What used to be black now washed out to a light grey.

You heard him hum softly, the sound of a washing machine door opening and closing, then the same for the dryer. You heard the beep of it starting up, Lewis coming up thirty seconds later with some pillows and duvet from the spare room. He carefully switched the pillows over with the ones on the bed, being sure not to strain you too much knowing your muscles were sore and then swapped the duvet round, taking them both downstairs. Rustling came from the laundry room of which you assumed was him stripping the covers from the bedding followed by two doors opening and closing, a curse, sound of a tap running so clearly Lewis had spilled liquid detergent and finally the sound of the doors closing and two beeps signalling the two machines had started washing their loads.

After that, it was mainly just standard day to day sounds. Like washing dishes, the odd clatter, sound of the vacuum. After about half an hour Lewis came back up to an empty plate. Instead of taking it downstairs like you thought he would, he simply set it on the table in the corner, nipped into the bathroom and came out with a damp clean cloth. “You really don’t have to if you don’t want to, babe.” He spoke, moving to sit beside you and wrapped an arm around your waist. Pulling you into his side.

“I know..” you muttered, resting your head onto his shoulder and held your hand out for the cloth which he reluctantly handed over. “But I want to.. I caused it, I want to help make it better.” You heard the other chuckle, looking up to him confused.

“I mean, I’d argue that I was the one to cause it. You don’t exactly go around clawing at my back like it’s a norm.” He smirked, looking down to you briefly before pulling his arm away. He pulled the shirt off with one swift motion and then pulled the duvet back, moved to lie down between your legs and hugged your thigh. “But I do like when you do it..”

You smiled softly as the man got comfortable. It wasn’t a regular occurrence for Lewis to be searching comfort from you. Usually you were on the receiving end. Or you’d have to reach out and offer that comfort. You didn’t mind reaching out at all but often you found yourself wishing he’d do it a bit more. You wanted him to know he could come and ask. You were sure he did. You just didn’t know why he didn’t. “Is there anything you didn’t like?”

The question snapped you from your thoughts, looking down to him for a moment before beginning to gently clean the scratches covering his back. “Uhm.. not that I can think of?” You spoke, sounding in thought as you tried to recall anything. “That break after the third was a little short, not enough for me to be like ‘woah no stop’ just more ‘fucking hell already?’ If you get me? Like I was still okay to do it was just a little tired kinda thing.”

You felt Lewis nod against your leg, kiss being pressed to your thigh. “I’ll remember that for next time.. anything you wanted to ask? Anything you want to try?” You felt the man relax against your leg the more you ran the cloth against his back, a small sigh escaping past his lips which caused you to smile ever so slightly.

“I can’t.. think of anything? But if anything comes up I’ll let you know.” The room fell into a comfortable silence for a moment. Neither of you feeling any need to break it as you continued to clean the others back. Eventually, you did speak up after realising you hadn’t asked how Lewis was doing. “What about you? Did you like it? Anything you didn’t? How are you holding up?”

“Me? Oh I’m feelin’ fine babe. Little sore like you but that’s normal. I can’t think of anything that I didn’t like. A few things I’d want to try but I’d like to wait for you to come to me and bring them up.” Lewis didn’t want to pressure you.. he knew that seemed to be a reoccurring theme with other couples. Dom mentions something they want to try, sub agrees purely for the fact it’s their dom without even considering if it was something they’d want. He knew you could stand up, tell him what you wanted, when you wanted to stop. You’d demonstrated that last night. But it was still a fear none the less.

“Alright well.. you can bring it up. ‘M all ears.” You spoke. To some, it may have come up as trying to pressure him. To Lewis? He knew it was simply some reassurance before you’d both drop the subject. Again, the room fell silent. Roscoes snores and the muffled sounds of birds filling the room. Eventually, his back was cleaned. “Alright.. baby you’re gonna have to scooch. Need the bathroom.”

Lewis reluctantly sat up from inbetween your legs, rubbing his face with a yawn. “You need a hand getting there or no?”

“Nah.. I think I got it.” The trip there was slow, you had a slight waddle in your walk. But you did eventually make it. Turning the light on as Lewis got comfortable on the bed. Turning the TV on. Not even five seconds later there was a shout.

“Lewis!” He turned his head to the door, smirk already plastered on his face. Just knowing you’d saw the absolute state of your neck. Then, your head popped from the room. “I’ve got work tomorrow!”

ʚɞ I actually really liked how this turned out?? I was originally going to post Lewis, Charles and Carlos together but I got like 2k words in for Lewis and thought “who tf is going to read like 6k words of just aftercare”.

ʚɞ Not to mention I was struggling to find a way for it to not be repetitive? There’s only so many times I can x, y, z gave reader a bath in one post before it gets a little boring. So I decided to leave them as separate posts and if people want to go back and read the others they can 🤷‍♂️

ʚɞ Honestly no idea when the next of this little mini series will be up. My social battery is six feet under and I’m so goddamn tired lol so give me like a few days see where I’m at

ʚɞ As for requests, I know there was some interest for a one someone left a few days ago, I’ll get to that asap I was planning this one out when the request came through so I decided to finish this one first instead of immediately working on the request so I didn’t forget about it (this took so long to write omg usually I’m able to bash like three posts out in one sitting but this took days 😭)

ʚɞ Anyway I have a strong headcannon that Lewis would call you ‘sugar’ and I don’t know why because whenever I think of that I think of it being said in a southern accent by some guy who works on a ranch not a British guy who drives cars around a track for a living so 🤷‍♂️

ʚɞ This entire post is long enough as it is so I’ll leave it here. Bye now 👋🏻

[beanbagstab]

My current Sonamy headcanons! 💖💙

These are mostly based off official content as well as what I’ve extrapolate from irl changes to the characters n such

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1) Believing in Amy is the closest Sonic gets to believing in fate 

2) Sonic feels similarly to sinking in water to how he feels “falling in love”. He feels a loss of control in a way he’s not entirely comfortable with or even sure he likes but he finds it exciting nonetheless

3) Amy compares herself to Sonic too much and sees herself as weak as a result 

4) Sonic hates being vulnerable so he helps the weak

5) Amy is uniquely capable of seeing right through Sonic and that makes him feel vulnerable

6) Even if she is helpful, most strangers see Amy as annoying, her friends love her tho

7) Sonic is the first real person in her life to put up with Amy and she attached to him so much because of it

8) Both realize they’re trans early in childhood but Sonic never had a word for it until later in life 

9) Sonic is Demi and Bi-Romantic but goes unlabeled for most of his life. He’s known what he’s about since he was fairly young tho

10) Amy is Allo and Bi but had not really thought about until meeting Sonic, she goes to pride events when she can

11) Amy developed attachment and abandonment issues that don’t go away even after they begin to date 

12) Amy and Sonic have a weak telepathic connection that functions more like a sixth sense Sonic is less aware of it than Amy is and he doesn’t really question it

13) Amy actually has no idea how she is able to sense Sonic’s presence (she chalks it up to girlish intuition)

14) Sonic usually has a very good awareness of his surroundings but somehow Amy always manages to catch him off guard 

15) No matter how angry or aggressive Amy gets with him, Sonic’s danger sense has never gone off because of her

16) Even after they started dating, Sonic isn’t entirely sure if he ‘loves’ Amy the way she ‘loves’ him but as long as they’re happy he doesn’t really care 

17) Amy realized Sonic’s on the aroace spectrum before he did 

18) Sonic is secretly worried that one day Amy will fall out of love with him 

19) Sonic believes that Amy knows him better than he knows himself but Amy feels like there’s so much she still doesn’t know about him 

20) Amy is very perceptive and empathetic but Sonic is the hardest person for her to read 

21) Sonic is likewise very perceptive but lacks the same level of empathy as Amy 

22) Amy looks at Sonic like he hung the stars and Sonic would do anything to keep that look on her face 

23) Sonic doesn’t get jealous easily but when he does he gets very jealous 

24) Amy does get jealous easily but it quickly fizzes out to either anger or sadness 

25) A lot of people have a crush on Sonic but the only crush he’s ever really been affected by is Amy’s 

26) Sonic loves to live. Amy lives to love 

27) Amy is constantly trying to prove to herself that she’s worthy of Sonic’s love and attention 

28) Sonic can be selfish when it comes to Amy’s affections 

29) After/if Tails gets a partner Sonic ‘moves out’ and ‘moves in’ with Amy to give them more privacy 

30) Sonic is consciously more gentle with Amy and Amy is unconsciously more rough with Sonic 

31) After years of becoming more used to physical touch with/ from Amy he is almost completely unaffected by it which leads to Amy trying to find new ways to fluster/ tease him 

32) Meeting Amy as kids gave Sonic the patience and empathy he needed that lead him to allow Tails to follow him later 

33) Even if Amy didn’t want him to, Sonic would still rush in to save her. 

34) When Sonic is upset Amy is the first one able to tell the difference from his usual demeanor  

35) They almost never have serious arguments but when they do they both are quick to forgive 

36) Sonic considers himself very lucky to be the one who Amy fell in love with

37) To Sonic, Amy is truly a “good person” to the extent that he trust her moral compass with very little, if any, push back 

38) Sonic and Amy are both orphans

38) Sonic is an introvert and Amy is an extrovert 

39) Sonic is very bad at expressing his more negative/complex/vulnerable emotions

40) Amy often gets ahead of herself, overestimating her abilities which sometimes pay off and sometimes get her in a lot of trouble 

41) Sonic thinks Amy’s tenacity is amazing and fun but sometimes it worries him too

42) Sonic’s impatience as a kid stems from him being so used to being the strongest/ most capable person around 

43) Sonic gets less reckless as he grows but he gets very reckless when his emotions are high 

44) Amy: heeheehee (aka cute giggles)

Sonic: heheheheheHAHAHAHAHA (aka chuckles into full on cackling)

45) Even when they’re old, Sonic and Amy still act like teens in love- teasing each other and chasing each other around, new people are kinda weirded out but friends are very used to it by then

46) Sonic is so used to Amy telling him how she feels directly that he would have no idea what to do if she decided to clam up and suppress her own feelings. It would upset and unnerve him- he’d feel in the dark.

[spacelazarwolf]

Ngl I don’t trust a space that advertises itself as being for women and trans people or “anyone who isn’t a cis man” cause. I pass. Like I have a beard, a deep voice, and I’ve had top surgery. People look at me and assume I’m a cis man. I would probably be interrogated at the door and harassed by everyone there who decided it was no longer a safe space cause there’s an obvious man there. If your safe space requires me to flash my cunt at the door to prove I belong there I don’t want to be there. But oops, guess that means I can’t take part in feminist activism apparently. And you can say both spaces can exist all you want, but 1) what is the point of activism if you don’t want the privileged group to hear you? It sounds like what you’re looking for is a support group, also 2) if you live in too small a town, you’ll probably end up with one space in total and if they decide it’s exclusive to certain groups, and you either are an ally or in theory someone the group is trying to support but not in practice (eg, passing trans men), then I guess you’re left with no choice but to go fuck yourself? Doesn’t seem reasonable.

!!!!!!!

any group that is entirely based on the identity of who they’re letting in and not the actual function of the group is always going to go to shit.

“this group is for women and non cismen bc we deserve a space to talk abt the abuse we’ve faced from men!” ok where do cis men who are victims of abuse go? are they such a different species that you couldn’t possibly connect with them about shared trauma?

“this group is for women and non cismen bc our reproductive rights are under attack!” ok so you don’t want trans women or anyone who’s had a hysterectomy there? are you okay with a pro life woman being there and actively telling the other attendees that they’re child killers because they’ve had an abortion?

“this group is for women and non cismen bc we understand what it’s like to be afraid walking alone at night!” ok so where do black and brown cis men go who can’t even walk alone during the day without getting followed by cops or labeled as “suspicious” by white women?

you are always, ALWAYS going to be more successful if you label your group based on the PURPOSE of the group.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

up until recently i ran a pretty popular radfem blog (stay with me, this ask is in good faith) but after i took a social media detox, i realized i don’t share those beliefs anymore and in fact i might be trans myself. i just kind of abandoned the blog, but i’d feel bad if i didn’t tell my followers what happened. i’m scared of telling anyone because i feel like i’d be a bad feminist if i transitioned. (i know, you can be trans and a feminist just fine, but that’s just the kind of thing radfems tell you.) even worse, i’m scared of posting about it on my main or radfem blog because radfems and trans people by and large hate each other (obv), and i’m scared to mention i’ve been in both groups because of the hate i’ll get

Lee says:

When I first started as a mod, I would have told you that you need to immediately post on all your blogs to disown the transphobic beliefs you had previously expressed to try to make up for the harm that you may have perpetrated as a radfem.

Now that I'm a little older, my feelings on the topic have shifted a bit. Before anything else, I think you need to slow down and make sure that you ensure your own safety and mental health.

If you believe that revealing this change to your followers could result in backlash online that would affect you emotionally, it's crucial to prepare by turning off anonymous asks and muting notifications from social media apps.

You should also make sure you have a non-online place to turn for support. If they used to be your community, you may feel like you've lost online friends, so make sure you don't become too isolated. Instead, lean on your IRL connections and seek support from trans-friendly people in your community.

You may even want to consider looking for a therapist-- questioning being trans can be difficult for anyone, and adding a layer of internalized transphobia doesn't help.

When you're ready to share your feelings on your blog, you should write a thoughtful post explaining your journey. You don't have to justify your identity; rather, focus on your personal growth, how your views have evolved, and how you came to understand yourself better. Acknowledge the complexity of the situation and that you're still learning.

These people were once your buddies and there's a chance you may be able to make some of them question their beliefs too if you don't lash out at them and trigger that instinctual defensive us-versus-them mindset, so I would try to keep a friendly tone even while noting that you no longer support them.

So thank your followers for their support and engagement over the years, but tell them you aren't comfortable staying part of their community now that you've realized that the beliefs underpinning the group are doing damage and you are trying to unlearn that type of thinking.

Gently challenge any misconceptions you once held or promoted. Clarify that being trans and feminist are not mutually exclusive and that everyone deserves respect and equality, regardless of their gender identity.

If you're comfortable, share resources that helped you on your journey. This could be educational materials, support groups, books you found helpful, or contact information for trans-supportive LGBTQ+ organizations. If there's anything you'd recommend to others who were once in the same place as you were on getting out, this is the time to share your advice.

Understand that reactions will likely be mixed. Some followers may feel confused, betrayed, or angry, while others might be supportive or even share their similar experiences. Remember, you're not responsible for their reactions and you don't need to respond to them if you don't want to argue and they aren't willing to have a respectful conversation.

Be clear about your boundaries. Let your followers know what kind of comments you're willing to engage with and that hate or harassment won't be tolerated. You can even stop engaging with the account altogether if you don't think you can deal with the hate that you may receive.

You don't have to post about this immediately. Again, it's okay to take as much time as you need to feel ready. It's okay to wait until you're in a safe and stable position before making any announcements.

If you do post about it and get hate, remind yourself that you're doing the right thing by letting go of that community, and that you're not only making the right choice for your own life in allowing yourself the freedom to explore your gender identity but you're also doing the right thing overall since you're now standing up for the trans community (late is better than never!) and no longer encouraging transphobic narratives.

If you feel that your current blog is no longer a space where you can express yourself authentically, consider starting a new blog or platform where you can write freely about your experiences and beliefs. Or just get offline altogether-- your digital detox is what started this, so maybe it's healthy for you to continue it for a while!

If you tell someone "I support trans folks" and they send you hate, that person is not your friend anyway. This is an opportunity to meet nice people who you can be yourself with. I would really encourage you to connect with IRL activists who are actually regularly volunteering and doing something concrete for their community if you have the opportunity.

When I was in high school, I volunteered at my local library's teen advisory board, and when I was in college I volunteered at a local hospital and through my college. This weekend I'm starting training for volunteering in-person for my town's emergency preparedness group which also does things like help to unload trucks for the food pantry, and I also volunteer remotely for two organizations online.

I'm really pushing for you to get out and volunteer (online or IRL) because I know one draw of the radfem community is feeling like you're an activist and that you're supporting women's rights and protecting and defending women. And it is important to support women's rights and protect and defend women! But there are other ways to do that beyond running a hateful blog attacking trans women.

I have a friend who works at an organization for survivors of domestic violence, for example, and she works with volunteers who help staff events, answer the hotline, etc. You can look around and see what local initiatives there are in your community and if you can't find the thing you're looking for you can start a group yourself or look online and join a national or state-wide cause that you care about, like pushing the legislature to support access to abortions.

Giving up the radfem community doesn't mean giving up feminism, and this is a good opportunity for you to take a look at your own time, your values, and think about how you can take this chance to start working to be a more effective feminist. Not everyone has to be an activist, but if you want to be one, think about how you can start doing good in a way that will actually affect people in a positive way.

I've also often been involved in doing events like conferences and workshops and panels IRL from my time in high school to the present day to try and educate folks on the community, but I also know that sometimes you need to take a step back and prioritize yourself. If you think you're not ready to jump into making change that's also okay. Just join something. A soccer team, a book club, anything hobby-related, to have something else to do and talk about and think about and stay tethered to feeling part of something.

Remember, it's okay to grow and change. You're not betraying anyone by being true to yourself. It's a courageous step to admit when your views have changed, and it's an integral part of personal growth. Be kind to yourself during this process.

Whether or not you end up identify as trans, you still will be doing the right thing by separating yourself from that community. I know it may be difficult because they were a place where you felt supported and part of a movement, but I really believe that you're taking steps in the right direction by letting go of that ideology and just living your life!

Followers, if you have any experiences unlearning toxic beliefs please reply with your advice for anon!

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Cold Moon in Gemini ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

Hello cute people~☃️ Happy holidays!~🎄✨🕊 Have you felt freer lately? We had a Full Cold Moon in Gemini on 15 December. Ruled by Mercury, Gemini's whole consciousness revolves around Intellect; and for some reason, I’ve always felt that the Gemini aenergy is also pure sunshine like it’s literally so bright and cheerful🍳 Perhaps it exudes from a passion for learning? Being the ‘toddler’ of the zodiac, Gemini is naturally carefree and curious about Life. Gemini wants to know all the trivial details of the world~📑

Although it's cold now, on some parts of the world, this Gemini FM aenergy is motivating us to get curious, get studying, get absolutely learning, about every little thing that piques our interest. Since you’re a spiritual one, I’m sure you sometimes get intuitive nudges for certain topics of study that you can easily google or youtube in this digital era. Ain’t that welcome?📚 This Full Cold Moon in Gemini, basically you're invited to just take it easy~♪

Relaaax, the real New Year is still ways ahead anyway😉

Study whatever you like when you want to, work as much or as little as it is sensible to you, and just… Know that you are safe now. This season, this coming year, it would be very sensible to get to know more about nutrition and the human body if you care enough. You can also discover real history and so much more. Basically, it’s time to celebrate Life itself, you celebrity!~★

To fall in love with Life all over again—because it’s good to be alive, to be breathing. For as long as your heart’s still beating, there’s still so much to be hopeful for~♡ Here's to a wonderful 2025~♦︎

ethics: Episode 3: L'Oreal Group on TRT World

documentary: How L’Oreal Poisoned the World on Jake Tran

deck-bottom: XIII The Death Rx, Gold Geographer (John Dee), Priestess of Inspiration

[Moon PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Sweet Love, Fresh Air, New Land

subliminal: A clear mind makes for a happy soul by lanaes

dream – 2 of Cups Rx

When was the last time you felt safe in a connection? Hmm maybe never? Maybe all of the connections you’d ever made in the past disappointed you in the end? Spiritual narcissists might say it was ‘all on you’ LOL They’d say, you didn’t have a good relationship with yourself, so you naturally manifested disappointing connections with others. It’s very callous to put it that way, right? It’s not like YOU wanted things to go that way!

Who in their right mind would want to sabotage themselves when it comes to having fulfilling romance and friendships? The truth of the matter is, you took on the collective karma of many who didn’t know how to love themselves, because they were born by parents who didn’t know how to love them. You needed to live amongst the ‘peasants’, assume the role of a ‘peasant’, so you know what’s stopping the ‘peasants’ from manifesting wealth for themselves.

In this case, we’re talking a wealth, an abundance of true, soulful Love in our connections with other Humans. The truth of your being, actually, is that the whole time, you’re a ‘spiritual royalty’ who’s already got a mega wealth of Love you can always generate within yourself. Your task in this world is to help ‘teach’ others how they can do the same for themselves~♥︎

detail – Page of Wands Rx

This section is supposed to cover some beneficial habits and routines that can amplify your wellbeing this FM season, but it looks to me like this Pile, if anything, has done a shit ton of spiritual rehabilitation! XD If anything, you’ve done so much self-healing and self-soothing; you’ve done so much inner work on yourself, for yourself; you’ve isolated yourself from the world outside to keep you safe, to keep your aenergy pure. What else can I add to this? Hahah

So, what the Page of Wands in reverse is saying, is basically a validation for you to still take your time. Some of you tuning into this may just feel like nothing’s been changing at all in your physical Reality—you may feel like maybe your train or aeroplane is never gonna come to pick you up. Not the case at all. The train ain’t even late. The train is just still being built!! LMAO

Once it arrives though, the way it carries you towards your Destiny, you’re gonna be SHOOK to see how fast, how exciting, how luxury everything is! Think of your train��or aeroplane as a luxury Patek Philippe watch—it can take years, even decades, for some pieces to finish being made!! Maybe now’s still just time for you to refine and develop your senses, so that when all of that luxury and spotlight become yours, you wouldn’t be cringe LMAOMFG

You know, new-money kinda cringe? You ain’t supposed to be like that XDD

digital – 8 of Cups

Finally! This has been a long time coming, but you’re totally moving away, inching ever closer to your Highest Destiny in the coming year. I’ve a feeling, especially if this is your main Pile, that you’ve heard this numerous times through other readings for yeaarrsss… And the change, the move, the luxury never quite was there? Or even when some changes were felt, they were so small and insignificant you found it hard to even appreciate them?

I know. The spirit of delay, right? I feel that you were only still battling the last remnants of the karmic bullshit you had taken on. But 2025 is different for so many Lightworkers and Starseeds, or anybody who’s been hard at work on their spiritual transmutation~♥︎

Between 2025 and 2026 (exactly within this time frame!) the change of scenery, the move, the travel that you’ve been known is meant for your Highest Intended Good will be manifest. There’s nothing else I need to say. Enjoy, my dear~ You’ve sacrificed, and survived, a lot for this~\`★_★`/

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Green Geographer (Gerardus Mercator) & Priestess of Luxury

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Total Reclamation of What Made You Divine~

subliminal: mathematical pursuits by lanaes

dream – 10 of Pentacles Rx

Oh my gosh, look at you! You’ve been dealing with a horrendous level of stress that’s caused you extreme exhaustion and prolonged fatigue. It seems either you’ve been sick throughout the holiday season or you’ve simply not been able to be as productive as you’d planned. It’s all for your good, honey. The truth of the matter is, your Higher Self and team of Spirit Guides made you sick or something like it, so you’d pause for a moment.

Because you’d been surviving, and hustling for survival, you’d forgotten what it felt like to just…live. If you look around, you’re already on safe waters. But your subconscious mind that got used to surviving hasn’t caught on XD In order to make you really see how safe it is now, you had to be sick. And voila, even when you thought you hadn’t been as productive, your basic needs are still met, right? :D There you go. It’s all taken care of now.

This season, all throughout spring, too, is all about you reclaiming every bit and piece of what made you Divine~ The bits and pieces that flew off when you went into survival mode. It’s like… …

detail – XII The Hanged Man Rx

When Sylvester Stallone was fighting tooth and nail for the script for Rocky, he got convicted out of his apartment and eventually felt forced to sell his puppy for $50 (when he had offered $100) to survive on the streets… He sobbed so hard on the way home. But as Destiny would have it, once Rocky became a box office hit, he was able to buy his little pup back for… $15,000!! He even had to fight for it! Whew, it was worth it, he said😊

In order to survive, you had to let go of some ‘aspects of your livelihood’ that were precious and fundamental to your sense of identity. You may resonate with having lost a huge chunk of your youth or life in general. It felt almost like, against your own freewill, you were led to dramatic events that got you feeling like you weren’t even allowed to live…like a normal person! Well, that’s the thing, you Prototype!

You know that you’re a Prototype, right? One of many of us tapping into this Pile right now�� I saw a meme on Pinterest that perfectly encompasses this idea: ‘When the whole world is collectively going through their Dark Nights of the Soul but YOU have survived a few of your own~’ Exactly.

digital – Knight of Wands Rx

You, are now collecting and reclaiming your little Butkus (Stallone’s pup). All of the things that were important to your sense of identity or wellbeing. They’re all returning to you, bit by bit, maybe. But you’re gaining momentum for a full-life again—but better. You’re not returning to how things used to be! You’re reclaiming all of the small and big things that made you Divine~ TOTAL RECLAMATION OF YOUR DIVINITY.

I’ve a feeling you may resonate with those readings that say: ‘You’re going to be the first millionaire/billionaire in your bloodline!’ If you look at your birth chart, you may get some confirmation on how you’re literally destined for so much prosperity~♥︎

Well, tap into that pool of consciousness! If you’re already rich, do you think you’d be stressed out by survival? Of course not. You are already prosperous as of right now ^o^v It is safe to focus on just one thing at a time. Your time is unlimited! It is safe to work or do anything at a pace that’s sensible to you.

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler) & Priestess of Energy

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Your Sandcastle Turning into Ice Castle

subliminal: revenge of the gifted by lanaes

dream – 3 of Cups

For a while now, you’ve been building a castle on sand. It wasn’t that you were stupid to do so, it was that you didn’t have any other material but sand. You were dealt bad cards in Life and still you did the best you could with what you knew, because you just had to. Because it’s in the nature of you to be building a castle of wonders. Because you made a promise before you were born here. And you were born with so many talents and such intelligence…

Of course you would be disappointed in the peasant Reality you were part of. You couldn’t understand why most people had such low expectations of themselves. If anything, you couldn’t understand why most people viewed themselves so lowly either. You had a regal essence in you since you were a child, and so many people’s ceilings were literally your FLOOR! Your barest minimum is literally the ceiling many people struggle to reach.

So you had to sketch a new Reality from scratch. And you did all of that almost all by yourself. Possibly guided by the inspiration of only your Cosmic Ancestors~♥︎

detail – 4 of Swords Rx

If this is your main pile, it seems you’ve been in some cocoon of isolation, which could’ve caused you a high degree of boredom. Feels like you’ve forever been in a healing/rehab phase but where’s the action? Sometimes you could almost taste the salt of the sea from another dimension! Your time is coming, babe~ All in Divine Timing, or should we say, Divine Alignment.

With this card in reverse, your rest period is literally almost up. Almost, but the world is still shifting frequencies until the world itself matches the Divinity you have to offer it. You’re a special op of a Soul. Everything was strategized and calculated in minute detail for you to serve your Higher Purpose. So, in essence, surprise, surprise, you’re not behind at all~☆

There is a kind of revenge you’re gonna pour unto the world. Like gasoline on the pavement. And when it finally burns… ooohhh…

digital – 6 of Wands Rx

Divine Punishment. A word I’m hearing the loudest. You’re going to swiftly carry some kind of a Divine Punishment for the evils of this world and subsequently liberate those who are innocent. If this has been your main pile, I trust that you know yourself that you’re meant to serve an audience. It’s great that we have the Internet today, right? In this era of Pluto in Aquarius, too.

The Internet is the new playground for enlightenment. Millennials and Gen Zs will resonate with this the loudest, even though plenty of Boomers are obviously also on it. If you jump into some kind of content creation—or whatever else you feel called to—which involves the usage of the Internet, you’re highly protected by the Higher Realms that want to see this world become liberated from the clutches of evil, both organic and digital.

I’m sure Pile 3 is serving a very specific type of Souls who are attracted to this aenergy. Beyond just the notion of an Ascended Master or Lightworker or Starseed… I feel like you belong to a special collective of highly-specialised ops whose name/terminology I’ve not tapped into LMAO

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Gold Physician (Hippocrates) & Priestess of Luck

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[Moon PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]

[what-even-is-thiss]

When I say I’m not different from other men I mean it. Yes even though I’m trans. Yes even though I’m non-binary.

There’s cis men who don’t know much about men because they were raised by women and had only gal friends growing up. I’ve met men like this. I arguably knew more about how being a man operated in society than them because I was raised by a single dad and had mostly guy friends growing up.

Why are those cis guys who hang out mostly around women all their lives more a man than me? They’re men. There’s no arguing that. Why am I any different just because I was “raised a girl”?

Men have all kinds of unusual experiences that don’t stop them from being men. I’m gender-fluid. I’ve gone through puberty twice. Those are unusual experiences for a man to have and be, yes. But so are many other things. Like growing up moving around, being a ballet dancer, losing a limb.

The Guys™ in my life have historically accepted me as one of them. Before and after I transitioned. It’s so easy to be a man. Not because of the reasons you’re thinking of. Not because there’s no gendered problems or whatever. Men do have gendered problems in society. Some of which I do personally struggle with. But it’s easy because I am a non-binary man. I just am. It comes so easily. I don’t have to think about it.

If you have these ideas in your head about how trans people are so different from cis people of their same gender I need you to really interrogate why you think that. Why is that one unique experience so different from all the other unique experiences that people can have? There’s no morality connected to being trans. It doesn’t make you good or bad any more than any life experience will. Oppression doesn’t inherently make you a better or worse person. It simply affects you. The same way any other ever-present force will.

[college-calamity]

This is my alter for my first time participating in the Transgender Ancestor Rite

I’ve never conducted any kind of ancestor veneration or really a proper mourning ceremony before (I’m lucky to have not yet lost any people close to me). I invited Hermes to guide and accompany me through this.

I got a small bouquet of flowers along with the recommended glass of water as offerings and read out the prayer as I lit the candle. I read out a list of names of some of the trans folks who have passed in the U.S. this year. My heart goes out to all the other trans folks whose names aren’t or won’t be known, and to the thousands of other trans people across the world who have also lost their lives this past year.

I did not want this Trans Day of Remembrance to only be about grief, it did not feel right to me to not also celebrate the lives that were lived. For the restless souls seeking a simple, light-hearted comfort, I put on the movie “Nimona.” I especially wanted to play it for any who were lost before they had seen any kind of positive representation of themselves in the public eye. “Nimona” was so incredibly moving to me when I first watched it (it still is). The fact that such a beautiful, joyful, and heartfelt queer and trans film was so beloved it was nominated for an Oscar continues to leave me in awe.

I am slightly unsure if I did this the “right” way or something, but I’m confident enough the effort was ultimately meaningful. Partaking in this remembrance was grounding and gave me an appreciation for ancestor veneration. It made me feel more connected to the trans community even though I never felt any presences with me.

The dedicated rewatch gave me some peace and comfort, and I hope it gave that to someone else tonight too.

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[genderkoolaid]

Okay is it just me or are people rlly weird about male pregnancy? Like, to a lot of ppl, if you bring up, it gets treated like a joke? I saw an article about a trans guy who had a baby and got misgendered by staff and SO MANY comments were transphobic. Some ppl get so weird about trans men asking for gender neutral terms in healthcare too. I’m not being coherent rn but like I’ve never seen this being talked about. As a cis girl, it weird how some women want to gatekeep the concept of pregnancy

Oh definitely. I've made a few posts about this exact thing.

Pregnancy is the apotheosis of womanhood under the patriarchy. that's why a pregnant man is so strange: women and men are meant to be antitheses of each other, so a man with the symbol of womanhood is jarring and therefore comedic. But it's also seen as dangerous, because trans men are "corrupting" womanhood by partaking in The woman activity while socially identifying and physically appearing as men; they demand their manhood be respected while also being pregnant, which threatens womanhood by saying that pregnancy is not the apotheosis of womanhood but instead genderless, and a genderless choice (as opposed to an gendered obligation)

This is all an example of how trans men are only "acceptable" when we are stealth and indistinguishable from cis men. The MINUTE you have a visibly pregnant man, people lose their goddamn minds and don't know how to act. When trans men & other trans people who can get pregnant ask that menstrual supplies and vaginal/uterine care be gender neutral, people freak out about transmascs "erasing women". The uterus embodies womanhood under the patriarchy, so trans men must either be forced into cis womanhood, or be alienated from their own body in order to fit into cis manhood. & in general there's an expectation that, if cis society graciously allows trans people to be ourselves without forced detransition & death, we have a duty to imitate our cis counterparts and disassociate from anything that connects us to our AGAB: "trans acceptance" often really means "trans people can only exist when they do everything they can to make their transness invisible"

[genderqueerdykes]

Is it wrong of me to still feel extremely connected to my previous lesbian identity even though I now identify as a trans man? I know there are trans men who identify as lesbians but like a coward I’m afraid of the backlash I’d possibly get for identifying like that from both the lesbian and trans masc communities. I’m not sure why I feel so connected to the lesbian identity and lesbian community but it’s the first experience I’ve ever had feeling really heard in my experiences and feelings before I came out as a trans man. I identified as a lesbian since I was 13 up until I came out as trans at 19. If you have any words of advice I would really appreciate it, thank you for all that you do on your blog.

nope, that's not wrong! thats very normal :)

there are soooooooo many trans men just like yourself who either started in and/or feel connected to the lesbian community alongside their trans manhood. there are so many other people just like you. i'm the same! i'm a butch lesbian trans man! i've always felt connected to the lesbian community, too, especially when i was younger. just because i realized i was a trans man after i realized i was at home in the lesbian community did mean i had to give up all those friends and connections, experiences and feelings

people are free to chip in if they want and let anon know just how many of us there are, no obligation of course! it may be worth looking into the transmasc lesbian and ftm lesbian tags on here! you don't have to give up important parts of yourself just because someone else may not like it. many transfems stay in the gay community after realizing they're women. it's okay for you to do the same!

take care! feel free to come back again any time!

[writinginaforrest]

Yes, I’m Transgender, but I’m not “Trans”

(31st Aug 2024)

When I think about this too much, I always come to the conclusion that I have got some internalised Transphobia. I identify as Male. I use He/Him pronouns. I dress in a way that conforms to the Gendered Norms of my culture. I’m just a guy. When “Trans” is added as a descriptor, not only does that become a thing about me, but it also sets me aside from other men. I’m not a Man, I’m a Trans Man. I’m a pseudo-masculine thing. When people realise I’m Transgender, I feel Castrated. That sounds pretty dang transphobic, doesn’t it. 

The way people have expected me to be Trans often Superseded what Transness is to me. I had a lecturer in college who insisted that my depression was, In part, a result of my going home every day to a family who did not know I was Trans. She sat there and looked me in the eyes and I watched myself in the reflection of her eyes becoming an anecdote in real time. I’ll always be her “Trans Student” who did remarkably well in her class before dropping off in his second year when he got a different teacher. For reference, my family may not have known that I am Trans, but It’s very rare that my deadname is used in my home. I’m referred to by my Middle name almost exclusively. Jeff (Jeffrey). And in reality. Transness was not something that was always on my mind and even now, I can be sure that it was not fueling my depression. My Undealt with sexual trauma? That’s a different story. But my being Trans wasn’t it. I didn’t even think about it that much. I still don’t. It’s not something that is an integral part of me. I would be no different If I had been born Cisgender. 

And that’s the thing. “Trans” carries a lot of weight to it, doesn’t it? A lot of people really connect to it on a level beyond it being simply a descriptor. It’s a culture, an experience, a mindset, an ideology, and what can I say to those people? Well done? Thank you? I don’t really have much to say, and that’s part of my problem. A lot of Trans artists are, at least partly, inspired by their queer experiences. I’m an artist (I yell into the void) and yet nothing about being Queer inspires art within me. I have nothing to say. My art would be the same if I were Cisgender. If I were Allosexual. I would be the same because I am not these descriptors that have been decided for me based on the way I live my life. 

“Trans” has become a commodity that I can’t escape. It’s something I’m supposed to stick on my laptop. It’s something I’m supposed to pin on my wall. It’s a lifestyle. A trait. A Community. A Culture. An Ideology. A Concept. An Abstraction. It’s everything and it’s nothing. I’m supposed to disclose it with pride when I meet new people. I’m supposed to warn Littluns about the dangers of not expressing themselves and being comfortable in their identity when I can’t even deliver on that. I’m supposed to do all these things. 

But no one is asking me to. 

No one is telling me to be “Trans”. 

I’m looking around at all of my Trans brothers and sisters and wondering if that’s behaviour I should emulate because I  have a) no frame of reference and b) no connection to Transess as a concept. I feel like I’m doing a disservice to those who feel a connection to it as a concept, when I only see it as an adjective. When I try to remove myself from it as much as possible. And again here comes the internalised Transphobia knocking at my window.

I’m an artist, A filmmaker, and a writer. I’ve never felt compelled to tell Trans stories. Is it because I don’t want to be pigeonholed into this idea of Transness that again, supersedes my own, or is it because I’m ashamed of it? Am I acknowledging that I am more than a Trans artist or am I just not taking pride in the fact that I’m going to have to live with being Trans for the rest of my life? It’s not something that goes away. Trans doesn’t stop. I Will always be Transgender and I have to cope with that because I am male and I was not born that way. 

I don’t Identify with Queerness. I don’t identify as Transgender. It is something I am, a thing that I cannot help. I Identify as Male, Transgender was just something that came free in the post. I didn't understand the terms and conditions of it. I'm dyslexic, you expect me to read the fine print?

Where does this end? What’s the accumulation of all of this thinking? I do not know. It doesn’t end. The debate where I am my own interlocutor only ends with more questions that I must ask myself. 

[girlycocksleeve]

Okay just to show that like I promise I am doing stuff with the survey (cut to the 15 page paper sitting in my google docs rn but I’m not happy with it yet and I haven’t done everything I want to with the data yet), here’s like extremely preliminary stuff:

- 56% of people who took the survey were trans men, 26.2% non-binary, and 7.2% trans women. Of course there is overlap, Some legends chose all 3 options, some 2, and there are also a healthy amount of gender-fluid, bi-gender, and agender people.

-Only 2% were heterosexual, with 37% identifying as bisexual or queer, 24% homosexual, and 23% aspec or asexual.

- 58% were aged 18-22. Shoutout to the 2% of people aged 33-40. 29% were 23-27 and 11% were 28-32

- 85% of people had socially transitioned (I actually. Okay I took some liberties here because sometimes people would be like “I’ve gotten top surgery and HRT” but then wouldn’t check the social transition box but I feel like. They probably have) I did forget to put hysterectomy, that’s my bad.

- the majority (around 64%) of people who had gone ftmtf (or ftnbtf) had gotten top surgery (which is higher than the average 40% of AFAB people who had).

- I actually think it’s more interesting to look at the data from a non-binary (including everyone who didn’t choose trans man/transmasc or trans woman/trans fem. Non-binary here is more a category than a label) vs binary trans person perspective. Surprisingly binary trans people were more likely to fully detransition, but non-binary trans people were, ofc, more likely to say that this kink had helped them explore their gender identity

- Many people said that this kink helped them process trauma, rather it be from transphobia, child abuse, or sexual assault. This is in line with other studies looking at the connection between kink and trauma (not to say everyone who participates in kink has trauma, but more to say it’s an established outlet)

- AFAB people were more likely (90% of people who responded to that question) to say this kink had helped with their body image than AMAB people (only 30%) I actually haven’t gotten around to looking at non-binary vs binary for this part oops.

-41% of people have told sexual partners, with 32% not having told.

- The most common comorbid kink is breeding no matter if you’re into masculinization or feminization. AMAB people are more likely (42%) to be into hypno than AFAB people (15%)

Anyways that’s a brief summary FOR NOW. I have more in the works but. Also for the final paper these numbers are subject to change because I do still have data coming in and sometimes I go insane and change the way I’m counting things so. It shouldn’t be a massive change in terms of findings but more a change in terms of numbers (for example I’ve fucked around with categories, especially for kinks and gender and sexuality, a lot. I haven’t landed on how exactly I want to do all of this yet)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AMITA for lying to everyone I know about my identity’s as a queer/neurodivergent person?

I (18M) am a bisexual, transgender man who is also autistic, ADHD, and OCD. When people hear this about me, even if they know me, I feel like they build up this image of me as an awkward, “cringy” 11 year old who’s obsessed with “cringy” fandoms. And while i have a qualm with this because I know they are looking down on people who are just less masked/higher support needs, I also dislike that they do this because it’s just not who I am. Without the labels, I mostly seem like just a normal dude, if not a bit nerdy.

I also used to be extremely bullied as a kid (7-12) to the point of a suicide attempt, mostly due to homophobic, transphobic, or ablest remarks about me. Since then I’ve completely changed community’s and do not talk to anyone i knew before high school.

When authority figures (Teachers, Show Directors, Investors of the teen programs I lead) apply ablest/transphobic stereotypes or prejudices to me, they also tend to be less,,, normal? around me. Less kind compared to other kids, call me an “inspiration”, or they’ll coddle me when I’m incredibly capable. I do a lot for someone my age- and I know the connections I make now at conferences and whatnot will help me in the long run. My dad’s family is poor, and my immediate family is more comfortable but not that much. I know I’m smart, and I can weaponize that to get a better life for my family by getting good scholarships and jobs in good fields. I can’t just let people who could be very important to my goals look down on me. So i just.. don’t tell them anything about me. They might assume Im odd or “not normal”, and for the most part I let them assume whatever, but if i’m ever asked directly about anything I deny it. Especially in relation to me being transgender; I have the very privileged ability to pass without any medical intervention, and I use that to pretend to be cisgender. Living in the deep south of USAmerica, most of who I am could make my social life very uncomfortable to downright miserable.

Here’s where the problem starts happening. when my social and (what i consider to be a) “professional” life occasionally touch, I wouldn’t be able to be out everywhere socially without someone I don’t want knowing finding out. So i don’t tell any of my classmates/friends/peers about any of my identities either. I hang out with queer and straight people, never be actively homophobic/ablest, and will be very vague about the two questions i’ve ever received about any of that stuff. It’s very, very exhausting to pretend all the time, every day, especially pretending that I’m cisgender because it’s a tricky game, but I can’t really back down and I’m afraid that I might get bullied again if I was ever open about it with classmates.

A few months ago, I was dating this guy, who i’ll call Kai (17M) Kai is also a transgender man, but does not pass at all and is comfortable with it. He’ll get shit sometimes, but also has essentially no straight friends. I told him I was queer when we became good friends, and then told him I was trans after we started dating. I also told him why I lie about being cishet or neurotypical, and while he didn’t seem happy he didn’t push it at first. I told him that I understood if he didn’t want to be in a secret relationship, but because of where we live and what I want to do I wasn’t comfortable with being out again. He said he still wanted to date me, and claimed he would support me, and we had a pretty good relationship overall.

A month after that, he started bringing it up again. He told me that I was more than my identity, and if people didn’t see me for who I am instead of stereotypes, it isn’t worth talking to them at all. And while I agree with the sentiment, it’d never be possible to just not hear someone if they were harassing me, and while I truely dislike a lot of the authority figures that I engage with, they are in the professional fields I’m interested in, and I’m incredibly lucky for getting where I am so early. Kai also said that since I am well known in our very small school (only 300 kids), being out could be a positive influence on what people think about autistic people or trans people. In a particularly heated fight, he even said I was doing a disservice or betrayal to my community by not representing or being proud of being apart of them publicly.

We broke up pretty soon after, but I think about what he said a lot. I know that I wouldn’t be the only out person at my school, and that my school is actually a lot better compared to most local schools, which are a lot larger and… dramatic, but I just don’t think I could be out without going back to how I used to be mentally. And Kai was right about how I could be a good influence on some of the meaner classmates- I do think some of my peers who I ingenuinely connect with might reconsider their prejudices if they knew I was transgender.

I’m intentionally choosing not to take the opportunity to do better. It wouldn’t ruin ALL my relationships with the authority figures I consider to be important holding, since it would just be my school, It might dampen one or two of them. Plus, I’m lying to pretty much everyone who knows me. They build relationships with a false idea of me, and I feel like an asshole sometimes because I’m not honest.

TLDR: I’m a transgender, autistic guy in a very bigoted community. Everybody thinks i’m cishet and neurotypical. AMITA for not being proud of who I am because of potential social losses, and AMITA for lying to people and giving friends/peers false ideas about who I am even if they would not be friends with me if they knew?

What are these acronyms?

[spacelazarwolf]

Hi, I was going through some of your old posts and wanted to clarify something. Do you think transfems can have internalized misogyny? Are they in your experience especially prone to sexism from having grown up as someone assigned male at birth?

weird vibes from this ask, i can’t tell if you’re trying to bait me or genuinely curious. if it’s bait, get fucked. in case it’s not, here’s my answer:

i think anyone can struggle with internalized misogyny or internalized patriarchy, especially women or people who are expected to be women. and, as the name would suggest, trans women are women. when a woman is told by society that her worth is in her appearance, and she internalizes that and starts judging herself based on those patriarchal expectations, that’s internalized misogyny. this is especially compounded for trans women and trans femmes, whose identity is already questioned by society. they face extremely intense scrutiny to look or act a certain way, to hold a certain societal role to “prove” their womanhood or femininity, so it’s not surprising that many struggle with internalized misogyny and judging themselves on the patriarchal norms that are violently forced on them. so yeah not only do i think they can have internalized misogyny, i think it’s inevitable for them to struggle with at some point on their transition journey simply because of how inescapable misogyny is in our society.

in terms of “socialization” based on agab, i think the entire concept is flawed. we’re all socialized to act a certain way based on our upbringing and environment, and very often our agab influences that, but there is no universal “afab/amab experience” and simply being raised as a boy or a girl doesn’t make you inherently more or less prone to sexism. i’ve known cis men who are staunch feminists because of their upbringing, who always work to dismantle patriarchal norms in the spaces they’re in. i’ve also known cis women who were deeply misogynistic and deeply harmed the people in their lives because of their insistence on forcing patriarchal norms onto them.

i’m not going to pretend i haven’t had bad experiences with individual trans women being sexist or misogynistic, but that’s because trans women are in fact people and people aren’t perfect. i have experienced misogyny from many different kinds of people, and the thing it always has in common is an attempt to make sure everyone’s staying in their patriarchy-prescribed box. we’ve all grown up in a sexist and misogynistic society that impresses on us how important it is to stay in our box and make sure others stay in their box.

we all have things to unlearn, including trans people. being trans doesn’t magically absolve us of doing that work. unfortunately that means there are going to be instances where trans people, including trans women and trans femmes, perpetuate misogynistic or sexist rhetoric. but i have found that offline the vast majority of my conversations with trans women and trans femmes about my experiences with misogyny and sexism go something like this:

“i face this as a trans man.”

“woah i had no idea, thanks for telling me. i relate to this tangentially because of the way trans people often have multiple gender roles forced on us at once.”

“wow i love connecting with other trans people through common experiences even if they might not be 1:1.”